We covered most of this in class, but there are a few important lessons to be learnt.
1. Your opening sentence whether it be quotation, question, imaginary scenario or statement must be tied to the topic to explain its relevance. The purpose of this is to establish the topic, its importance and the issues involved in the mind of the reader.
2. You had your own copy of the Principals of Olympism. The idea is to quote from them.
3. Having established the Principals you should contrast the reality of what is happening with these high ideals.
4. The next student who uses and many more will buy me a weeks' supply of chocolate (and that's a lot!).
5. You must state your sources e.g. if you quote from the Principals, then you must say so. If you discuss someone's view you must say who that person is. If you use something you read then you must state where it came from.
6. Define key words in the topic. In this case soul requires very careful definition.
7. Include up-to-date information.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Assessment notes: EAS
I know its neither the most interesting nor the most appealing pastime, but we can learn a lot from assessments. Here are notes concerning the recent 'Pip' commentary.
1. Always write in the 'commentary sentence' (see elsewhere on this Blog): that is identify - refer - effect.
2. The NARRATIVE VOICE is very important in the Pip passage. How does Miss Havisham appear to us filtered through the eyes of a young boy?
3. Contrast the initial impression of Miss H with the slow revelation of her real self.
4. What is the tone here (wonder? amazement? fear?) and does it change? How is tone created and what effect does it have on the reader?
5. What is Dickens' purpose here? In this passage? Go beyond 'to entertain,' 'to amuse.' Each passage will have a particular purpose and identifying this purpose is the key to writing a successful commentary and getting yourself into the high grades.
6. Genre - this is fictional autobiography....
7. Use the phrases, The writer immediately establishes...
8. Write the commentary in the simple present tense.
9. Length: a side and a half is grade C material two sides and a half is grade A material.
10. Use the phrases, The author leads the reader in....
11. Never ever say things like: the author uses good vocabulary; the author uses good words.
1. Always write in the 'commentary sentence' (see elsewhere on this Blog): that is identify - refer - effect.
2. The NARRATIVE VOICE is very important in the Pip passage. How does Miss Havisham appear to us filtered through the eyes of a young boy?
3. Contrast the initial impression of Miss H with the slow revelation of her real self.
4. What is the tone here (wonder? amazement? fear?) and does it change? How is tone created and what effect does it have on the reader?
5. What is Dickens' purpose here? In this passage? Go beyond 'to entertain,' 'to amuse.' Each passage will have a particular purpose and identifying this purpose is the key to writing a successful commentary and getting yourself into the high grades.
6. Genre - this is fictional autobiography....
7. Use the phrases, The writer immediately establishes...
8. Write the commentary in the simple present tense.
9. Length: a side and a half is grade C material two sides and a half is grade A material.
10. Use the phrases, The author leads the reader in....
11. Never ever say things like: the author uses good vocabulary; the author uses good words.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tone
A fundamental principal of EAS
I've added a link to the best discussion of tone that I could find. The following aspects of tone interest us in EAS:
1. What is the tone of the passage?
2. How does the writer create this tone i.e. how does the choice of words and sentence structure in particular create a certain tone?
3. What effects does the tone produce?
Bear in mind that tone can change and hence the effects also change.
Of course, in paper 2 you must think carefully about the tone that you wish to create in order to produce a particular effect. Why don't you practice writing some short pieces in order to create some different tones e.g. mysterious; dangerous; frightening; romantic; philosophical...
I've added a link to the best discussion of tone that I could find. The following aspects of tone interest us in EAS:
1. What is the tone of the passage?
2. How does the writer create this tone i.e. how does the choice of words and sentence structure in particular create a certain tone?
3. What effects does the tone produce?
Bear in mind that tone can change and hence the effects also change.
Of course, in paper 2 you must think carefully about the tone that you wish to create in order to produce a particular effect. Why don't you practice writing some short pieces in order to create some different tones e.g. mysterious; dangerous; frightening; romantic; philosophical...
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Fundamental Principles of GP Essay Writing
1. The Introduction
The introduction to your GP essay is crucial to your success in many ways:
i) it is the reader's first impression of your writing and first impressions count
ii) it tells the reader immediately whether or not you know anything about the subject
iii) it gives the reader an insight into the quality of your thought processes
iv) it effectively makes the remainder of the essay fall into place
v) it clearly defines the scope of your discussion
Let's look at the recent topic: Sport has lost its soul. Discuss.
The word which clearly sticks out here is soul. I know that people have a soul, but I've never heard of sport having a soul.
I know that when someone loses their soul it is a bad thing: they have turned from being good to evil (hence the idiom - to sell your soul to the devil).
Thus in some way I have to consider that sport has in some respects turned bad. I wonder what they are?
How do I go about defining the soul or good part of sport? Look no further than the:
Fundamental Principles of Olympism:
1 Olympism is a philosophy of life, exalting and combining in a balanced whole the qualities of body, will and mind. Blending sport with culture and education, Olympism seeks to create a way of life based on the joy of effort, the educational value of good example and respect for universal fundamental ethical principles.
2 The goal of Olympism is to place sport at the service of the harmonious development of man, with a view to promoting a peaceful society concerned with the preservation of human dignity.
3 The Olympic Movement is the concerted, organised, universal and permanent action, carried out under the supreme authority of the IOC, of all individuals and entities who are inspired by the values of Olympism. It covers the five continents. It reaches its peak with the bringing together of the world's athletes at the great sports festival, the Olympic Games. Its symbol is five interlaced rings.
4 The practice of sport is a human right. Every individual must have the possibility of practising sport, without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play. The organisation, administration and management of sport must be controlled by independent sports organisations.
5 Any form of discrimination with regard to a country or a person on grounds of race, religion, politics, gender or otherwise is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic Movement.
6 Belonging to the Olympic Movement requires compliance with the Olympic Charter and recognition by the IOC.
OK there's loads of lofty aims and objectives here. We can see that sport is more than simply running around and I am sure I can find similar principles relating to the World Cup; Tennis; Golf; the SEA Games etc. Obviously we mere humans find it very difficult to live up to these aims.
Now let's look for a relevant quotation to get us going:
For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his own soul? (reference a religious book).
So now I'm going to write my introduction.
The ancient quotation For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his own soul? shows that humans can lose their soul and that this is connected to becoming evil. The soul of a human must therefore be the essential good which is inside all of us. But how can sport have a soul? It is neither human nor plant nor animal, but rather an all encompassing concept. The answer is that the essential good of sport can be found stated in, for example, the lofty ideals of the Fundamental Principals of Olympism. Thus Article 2, The goal of Olympism is to place sport at the service of the harmonious development of man, with a view to promoting a peaceful society concerned with the preservation of human dignity clearly tells us that the soul of sport is concerned with the good intentions of its organisers. Unfortunately the reality falls far short of these high ideals and today we can see the politicization of the Olympics (not a new phenomena by any means), the incurable curse of performance enhancing drugs, bribery and corruption at the highest levels, cheating and bad sportsmanship wherever we look.
You might think that this is a bit long but the principle is there for you to follow! The beauty of this introduction is that you have told the reader exactly what you will be writing about - MEGA MARKS for being on the ball and the rest of the essay is a piece of cake - er as long as you know something about the topic.
The introduction to your GP essay is crucial to your success in many ways:
i) it is the reader's first impression of your writing and first impressions count
ii) it tells the reader immediately whether or not you know anything about the subject
iii) it gives the reader an insight into the quality of your thought processes
iv) it effectively makes the remainder of the essay fall into place
v) it clearly defines the scope of your discussion
Let's look at the recent topic: Sport has lost its soul. Discuss.
The word which clearly sticks out here is soul. I know that people have a soul, but I've never heard of sport having a soul.
I know that when someone loses their soul it is a bad thing: they have turned from being good to evil (hence the idiom - to sell your soul to the devil).
Thus in some way I have to consider that sport has in some respects turned bad. I wonder what they are?
How do I go about defining the soul or good part of sport? Look no further than the:
Fundamental Principles of Olympism:
1 Olympism is a philosophy of life, exalting and combining in a balanced whole the qualities of body, will and mind. Blending sport with culture and education, Olympism seeks to create a way of life based on the joy of effort, the educational value of good example and respect for universal fundamental ethical principles.
2 The goal of Olympism is to place sport at the service of the harmonious development of man, with a view to promoting a peaceful society concerned with the preservation of human dignity.
3 The Olympic Movement is the concerted, organised, universal and permanent action, carried out under the supreme authority of the IOC, of all individuals and entities who are inspired by the values of Olympism. It covers the five continents. It reaches its peak with the bringing together of the world's athletes at the great sports festival, the Olympic Games. Its symbol is five interlaced rings.
4 The practice of sport is a human right. Every individual must have the possibility of practising sport, without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play. The organisation, administration and management of sport must be controlled by independent sports organisations.
5 Any form of discrimination with regard to a country or a person on grounds of race, religion, politics, gender or otherwise is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic Movement.
6 Belonging to the Olympic Movement requires compliance with the Olympic Charter and recognition by the IOC.
OK there's loads of lofty aims and objectives here. We can see that sport is more than simply running around and I am sure I can find similar principles relating to the World Cup; Tennis; Golf; the SEA Games etc. Obviously we mere humans find it very difficult to live up to these aims.
Now let's look for a relevant quotation to get us going:
For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his own soul? (reference a religious book).
So now I'm going to write my introduction.
The ancient quotation For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his own soul? shows that humans can lose their soul and that this is connected to becoming evil. The soul of a human must therefore be the essential good which is inside all of us. But how can sport have a soul? It is neither human nor plant nor animal, but rather an all encompassing concept. The answer is that the essential good of sport can be found stated in, for example, the lofty ideals of the Fundamental Principals of Olympism. Thus Article 2, The goal of Olympism is to place sport at the service of the harmonious development of man, with a view to promoting a peaceful society concerned with the preservation of human dignity clearly tells us that the soul of sport is concerned with the good intentions of its organisers. Unfortunately the reality falls far short of these high ideals and today we can see the politicization of the Olympics (not a new phenomena by any means), the incurable curse of performance enhancing drugs, bribery and corruption at the highest levels, cheating and bad sportsmanship wherever we look.
You might think that this is a bit long but the principle is there for you to follow! The beauty of this introduction is that you have told the reader exactly what you will be writing about - MEGA MARKS for being on the ball and the rest of the essay is a piece of cake - er as long as you know something about the topic.
Fundamental Principles of Commentary Writing
1. THE COMMENTARY SENTENCE
There is a standard type of sentence to use when writing a commentary which fulfills the following three functions:
i) it identifies the language feature
ii) it provides the text reference
iii) it explains what the effect is
Here is an example drawn from the recent Dickens text.
"Pip expresses the stunning impact made by Miss Havisham the first time he sees her, 'the strangest lady I have ever seen, or shall ever see.' The use of the superlative strangest clearly exclaims that no other person on earth could possibly be as strange as Miss Havisham. The repetitious have seen/shall ever see emphasises this point by stating that she is unique through time. Thus the reader is given a clear idea of the amazing and life-changing effect that this old lady has and is likely to have on Pip's life".
You will see that my commentary sentence is actually four sentences, but this is OK. It is because I had rather a lot to say. The principle remains the same for one, two, three or four sentences. Can you identify each function within my example?
Look at all your sample commentaries - you will see what I am talking about.
There is a standard type of sentence to use when writing a commentary which fulfills the following three functions:
i) it identifies the language feature
ii) it provides the text reference
iii) it explains what the effect is
Here is an example drawn from the recent Dickens text.
"Pip expresses the stunning impact made by Miss Havisham the first time he sees her, 'the strangest lady I have ever seen, or shall ever see.' The use of the superlative strangest clearly exclaims that no other person on earth could possibly be as strange as Miss Havisham. The repetitious have seen/shall ever see emphasises this point by stating that she is unique through time. Thus the reader is given a clear idea of the amazing and life-changing effect that this old lady has and is likely to have on Pip's life".
You will see that my commentary sentence is actually four sentences, but this is OK. It is because I had rather a lot to say. The principle remains the same for one, two, three or four sentences. Can you identify each function within my example?
Look at all your sample commentaries - you will see what I am talking about.
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